Yesterday I was playing at Doyle's Room while at work...what? It's really no big deal. It's our slow time of the month, and our internet usage isn't monitored closely. In all truth, it's monitoring is non-existant. That'll change in the next few weeks, because our one IT guy is updating our circa 1998 firewall to something a little more current. A little more secure. Until then, I'm going to play as much at work as possible, because I might not be able to at all after.

Anyhow, in the span of about 2 hours, I'd more than tripled up on a $100NL table, and I can honestly say that's one of the better runs I've ever had before at this table limit. I know that compared to other bloggers, a few hundred dollars isn't that much of a payday, but to me, $100/hr is nothing to spit at.

It wasn't even as if the cards were treating me all that well. I'd been chipping up slowly and only got involved in one fairly big hand, which I won. There was so much atrocious play that I wish I could've played there all day. Unfortunately, I broke 7/8th of the table and nobody wanted to play my reindeer games anymore. Which is funny when you think about it, because Doyle's only has three or 4 tables running at this level at any given time, so it's not like it's tough to tiptoe behind people that are leaking money from their pockets.

There is one play, though, that I've seen time and time again, and I just don't understand how anyone, fish or not, can think this is a good play.

Let's say that a everyone folds up until a player in LP, who, holding AKo raise it 4 times the big blind. His stack is about $20 deep. Everyone else folds except for the big blind, who calls. His stack is equivalent to that of the LP. The flop comes down 3-J-9, rainbow. The BB makes an undersized pot bet of about $2, and LP quickly raises to $4. The BB immediately goes over the top for his last $16, making the raise $14.

This really isn't a post about strategy, it's more about not being able to believe just how many times I've seen this in the last week, and I can't remember the last time that I've seen it at Party Poker.

Of course, the BB immediately calls with ace high, having 2 redraws to hit one of the 3 kings, because the LP is holding AJ. That's if he's lucky, and the opponent isn't holding pockets aces or kings. I'm serious when I say that I can't count the number of times that I've seen someone call off the rest of their stack holding AKo, or even AQo and even all the way down to A10o.

Or maybe it's just that I'm such a Poker Deity that I understand. Yeah, that's it.

WPBT

About 10 minutes before the start time, I got a text-message from a long-lost ex, and there's a reason that she's lost. I was in the midst of writing all of that up, when I mentioned in the AIM chatroom about it. Felicia immediately shot back, in her normal style, with "I'll trade spots with you for the next year, Chad". I didn't see her response until 10 minutes after she said it, as I was scrolling through the previous conversations, so I didn't get a chance to respond at the time, I would like to take a moment to respond to her.

Now, I know my problems are trite and virtually meaningless in comparison to what others are going to through. I know I have no leg to stand on in complaining about a psycho girl that just doesn't understand that I don't want to talk to her. Believe me, I've told her that before.

But, I will say this: No, Felicia, I don't want to trade spots with you for a year. Why? Even though I've never met you, I know you're strong, and I say, without reservation, that I'm a pansy. You'll make it through all this, and I honestly can't say that I would. I think that many people would agree with me.

I know you were just busting my balls because I was complaining about something that really doesn't mean a damn in the grand scheme of things, but I just had to respond.

As far as the tournament goes, my head wasn't in it, and I bled chips by firing at missed flops, only to be called by bottom pair. And I think that, one time, I caught CJ skimming off the top of my chip stack. I can't comfirm it, but I looked away for one second, and when I looked back, he had 300 more chips and I had 300 less. I also found it odd that right after I noticed this, he was whistling and suspiciously avoiding eye contact with me. Perhaps it was a bit much to wink and blow kisses at him when I first sat down, but I won't know if my suspiscions were correct until I go to the surveillance video. We'll see.

I ended up somewhere in the pitiful realm of the 80's, once again disgracing the Great, yet cold, state of Minnesota. When are we going to break through, eh,Chris? Eh, Drizz?

Last night I fired up two $50 NL Party tables, a few Firefox windows, Trillian and Outlook Express because, well, even though I don't feel comfortable 3 or 4 tabling, my Adult-Onset Self-Diagnosed ADD(AOSDADD) isn't satiated by the slow play of just two tables. My bankroll is so meager at Party that it shouldn't be justifiable to play one $50NL table, let alone two, but the play isn't any better than the $25NL and I have the patience required to wait around to double up. Or at least I hope do.

I started off by chipping up slowly on both so that I was up about $20--no big deal. I hadn't been getting any cards, but rather stealing orphan pots to build a stack--which I've been getting much better at lately--when I finally picked up aces in LP on one of the tables.

When I first started playing a year and a half ago, my heart would literally skip a beat every time I was dealt pocket aces or kings. But now that I've played so many hands, and now that I realize that anything can and probably will happen, I've gotten to the point where I'm pretty much unfazed by them. They might as well be any two random raise-worthy cards.

3 people limped before me, and I raised it my usual amount. The BB then reraised me his whole stack of about $40. That nervousness that was strangely absent when dealt the aces a moment ago just arrived, and it decided to bring along it's good friends, Perspiration and Fear. While I don't get jittery when I'm dealt a monster, I still most definitely do when involved in a big pot. Even though I know I'm ahead, and I know that I'm going to win more often than not, there's still that adrenaline surge that I love oh-so much.

Of course this is an easy call, and unlike every other fucking site in the world, Party refuses to show the hole cards face up when only two people are in the pot(and all-in), and I have absolutely no idea where I stand until my screen displays the "Eat It Muthafucka!" and the pot is pushed in my direction. This has to be one of my biggest gripes with Party Poker. Why is it so hard to flip the cards over? I hate not knowing what the other person holds, and constantly fearing the worst if a king or a 3 card flush draw shows up on the board. I also feel that I shouldn't be required to check the hand histories, but I do, of course.

And when I checked the hand history, I saw that my opponent decided it wise to risk his whole stack with pocket 8's. Pocket-fucking-8's. Hey, I salute the gamble this guy posesses. I know that I wouldn't be able to do it. However, I pity his stupidity. And he was about to one-up himself in that department.

I rarely have the chat on because it's an unecessary distraction. Whenever I win or lose a large pot, however, I check to see what, if anything, is being said about the hand.

"KK--good hand"
"Bad timing for me to have it"
"Just unlucky"

That's what he typed. Apparently, his software version doesn't have the option to check hand histories in the upper right corner. But mine does, and it showed that he was blatantly lying about his hole cards. Why do this? Why would anyone try to save face when you're essentially faceless in the first place? It boggles my mind.

It's one thing to give false information when you're playing at a B&M, because it's easy to get away with. But online, especially at Party, it's impossible when you're cards are known. I wasn't about to tell him that the option is there, and that he was lying. You can be that he's been tagged and will be followed from now on.

I wish that I'd had some light bulb poker moments lately to write about. You know, the moments that you finally 'get it', and exclaim "A-HA!" loud enough to scare little children and small dogs yelp in fear.

I don't.

I wish that I could say that I won a major online tournament with a first place prize worth $30,000, and that I was going to finally buy that puppy/car/Vietnamese Mail Order Bride that I've never needed buy always wanted.

I can't. So sad.

I wish I could say that I've been consistently plugging along on Doyle's Room and Party to be able to pay my way to the June WPBT out of nothing but winnings, making it a literal freeroll.

But...I...wait, I can say that! That's exactly what I've been doing.

If not for an unforseen heating bill, and an unbelieveably high electrical bill, I'd be almost to my goal for raising the $1500 for Vegas bankroll in June. After pulling out some of this to pay for the flight/hotel, and the above bills, I'm sitting at about 1/3 of the way there. $1500 may not seem like a lot to many of you out there, but you have to remember that I don't play anywhere near the limits that almost everybody else does, and I'm downright frugal with my poker money.

If there's one thing that I am, it's terrible with money. If I have cash, I'll spend it. And more than likely, I'm going to spend on shit that I don't need but definitely want, like shots at the bar. Or porn. Save it? For what, a rainy day? HA! Now you're just being silly.

But, if there's one thing that poker is teaching me, it's a little bit of restraint in regards to how I use my money. I know that to build a bankroll, I can't go tossing around money all willynilly if I want to continue on with this game, I have to sit back, be patient, and wait. And then wait some more. The only thing better than spending money, is spending other people's money.

Can you believe there's only two months until Vegas? The only two things I need to accomplish in that amount of time is build the bankroll, and get my chickenshit self down to Canterbury for a few live sessions. That's it--nothing more, nothing less. I still can't believe that I haven't been down there.

For those of you that expressed interest in my other blog, I created one just for you. I would've just linked you to the original, but I think the site requires registration, and I wouldn't ask anyone one to do that just to read the way my mind works.

So, you get Irritable Male Syndrome

Oddly enough, I have been playing a ton of poker lately, as I've fallen back in love with Party Poker. Re-fallen? Whatever. I don't have much to say on how I've been playing, because I've just been grinding along, trying to build a bankroll for Vegas. I will give you a few snippets on certain poker related subjects, though.

TILT:
Would it kill the Tournament Director to color-the-fuck-up? You can hardly see poor Young and the Restless' Eddie Cibrian's pretty little dimples behind that mountain of chips. What? I had a girlfriend in college that forced me to watch the show. Yes, sex was with withheld until I understood the difference between Victor and Victoria. What would you do?

Shut up.

WPBT H.O.R.S.E Tourney:
I, uh, didn't play. I tried to withdraw money from Doyle's last Thursday into Neteller, but it wasn't in there until yesterday afternoon. Needless to say(but I said it!), my Full Tilt account was fund-less. Without funds. I still joined the chat and sweated many of the tables, and I still had a good time.

Near the end of the tournament, I brought my laptop to my favorite swill joint, and proceeded to double-up on a $100 NL table at Doyle's in a little under 2 hours. It's too bad that I can't make $50/hr. each time I log in.

That would be hella sweet.

Random Thoughts:
Last night, I was drifting in and out of consciousness while watching Seinfeld, and the following commercial came on:

Running guy:"I'm waiting!"

Sporty looking girl:"I'm waiting!"

Group of five 12 year old girls[in unison]:"We're waiting, too!"

Announcer:"That's right, we're all waiting for Dick's. Dick's Sporting Goods is having it's Grand Opening..."

I have never, in my whole life, been witness to a commerical so inadvertantly funny. Yes, girls, hopefully you will be waiting a long time for dicks.

WPBT Vegas:
It seems like everybody is staying in or near downtown, which sucks a little hard because my buddy and I are staying at the Imperial Palace. I think I may have to look into switching to The Plaza or some other crap-hole like that. After all, this trip is about hanging out with other bloggers, is it not? I'd rather be able to stumble back to my room in the early morn, rather than have to catch a cab back to it on the Strip. We'll see.

I'm about the write something that may sound a little stupid, but it's an issue I've been thinking about lately. Just hear me out, though.

This installment of the WPBT Vegas will have a completely different feel to it. Not a "bad" feel, per se, just different. With more people planning on making the trip, it can't help being different.The people that attended the first gathering are, for a lack of a more apt word, a family. Granted, a dysfunctional and grossly degenerate family, but a family nonetheless. They already know that they get along, and interact pretty damn well.

When you throw a bunch of newcomers into the mix, though, things change. The feel to the group is just different. It's tough to spread time between the extra people. I'm not saying that I already feel like I'm not going to be accepted, or that I'll be an outcast. That's not it at all. Quite the opposite, actually. All I need to do is drink past the point of good reason, and throw chips around all willynilly to fit in. All I'm saying is that it will be tough for the gathering in June to live up to the gathering this past December.

I suspect that those that attended that boozefest feel the same way.

Fine, fine, you want poker content, do ya? I'll see what I can do. I haven't been playing as much as should lately, what with the WPBT coming up in June. It's official now, a buddy and I are flying in early Thursday morning(what do you mean there's also an 8am?) and flying out early Monday evening. I know I said it was official before, but we bought the actual tickets last night, so I guess you could say that it's super happy fun official now. We're staying at the Imperial Palace. Anyone else staying close to there?

I'm now playing almost exclusively no-limit again, even after my one month stint as a limit player. I like the little intracacies of limit poker, but I have much more fun playing no-limit. Simple as that. The problem lies in that I've never read any material on No-Limit Theory, and I suspect that it's costing me money by keeping my Pansy Factor high. The Pansy Factor is when you know the correct move, and you know that you need to make the move, but you wuss out. You pansy.

I'm only a handful of pages into The Bible, and I can already tell it's going to valuable. But, I have a few problems with it.

1-There are far too many bolds and italics. I'm a slow reader, and an overabundance of font that's meant to emphasize makes the reading tough for me. Everytime I hit one, I slow...way....down. It's like if the fat kid in high school decided to run the steeplechase. He's running along-running-running-running. He's not making bad time right now because he's got everything in motion and there's nothing in his way. Whoops, here comes the first steeple, and...it's....pant...grunt...hard to...get over. Wheeeeeeeze.

Oh yeah, and the kid has asthma, too.

They could've done without the emphasis every 6th word. Every 7th is perfect.

2-I know that aggression is very important in this game. I goddamn-diddly know this. But, am I really supposed to be pushing my entire stack in when I'm only drawing to a few outs? I understand the theory behind this, and there's more to the scenario, but it seems tough for almost anybody to get to the point where they're pulling the trigger comfortably. Eh, what do I know?

I guess that's less of a complaint about the book, and more of realization that I've got so much to learn. Not that there's anything wrong with that.

Hey you-

It's early, and I'm sure you're still asleep. In a few moments, I plan on waking you by running my fingers over your entire body, but for now, I'll let you sleep. I'm up because I have things that needed to be said. The words have been spinning around in my head, like a wave crashing into a hidden beach; rolling over the shoreline, retreating, and returning to land more forceful than before. If I don't get them out now, I fear that I'll never be able to adequately explain how I feel.

I suppose I'll just get to it. Like a band-aid--the quicker the better, huh?

I love you.

There, I said it. I love you. And I have since the first time I saw you. I'm sorry, but I can't help myself. And if that makes me crazy, well, I don't ever want to be sane. You're impossible not to love.

I love the way your face lights up when I enter the room, making me feel like the most important person on earth. I love the way you purr, almost inaudibly, as I caress your smooth, sun-kissed cheeks. Most people wouldn't be able to hear it, but I can. I know.

I'm not used to this feeling, to be quite honest. I'm not afraid of it, though. I want to show you off to my friends; they'll be jealous of us. I want to introduce you to my mom; she'll be overjoyed that I finally found someone that makes her baby boy happy. I want to tell every stranger I meet just exactly what you mean to me; they'll look at me like I'm loony.

I imagine a day when you and I will be able to travel to far away places together. I'm not sure where just yet, but possibly to the Emerald Isle to show you why I love the country so much. That sounds good. I'll be driving, and you'll be sitting shotgun, and we'll both be filling the car with our voices. Yours, on-key, and mine, so far from it. That's ok, though, I realize I couldn't hit a note if you gave me a hammer and a pile of sheet music. I know that you don't judge me.

Or, it could be somewhere entirely new, like the mountains of New Zealand, or the Gold Coast of Australia. It doesn't matter, as long as it's with you.

God, I love your uncanny, encyclopedia-like knowledge of music. It's been a long time since anyone's been able to teach me anything, that I was starting to believe it impossible. But I know there's a lot for me to learn, and I don't want to miss out on even one second of that time.

You're not like the others. You're feminine, yet strong and I don't doubt your ability to make me happy. I know we've only known each other for a short time, and my feelings might seem a little sudden, but I knew from the first time I laid eyes on you that I'd never be satisfied until you were mine. And now that you are, the possibilities seem almost infinite.

We could be the greatest couple ever in the history of couples. I love you, and I don't care who knows it.

Now if only I could find a way to fuck your USB port, or mini-plug hole, we'd be golden, Golden, I say!

Ok, it's time to wake you up so you can sing to me.

Poker distractions.

Can anyone guess where I'll be exactly three months from now?

Wait for it. Wait for it.

Las Vegas!

Ladies, the line forms to the right. No pushing, there will be plenty of time for each and every one of you. I said: NO PUSHING!

Men, go ahead and be jealous. Really, it's ok. I know that you all want to live vicariously through me, what with all the sitting by the pool with a cold beer I'll be doing, and a bevy of beautiful women that are bound to be at my beck and call. See what I mean by saying that you should be jealous? You'd never be able to use alliteration like that! Oh, and not to mention the fat bankroll I'm going to be sportin'. You'd be a shlub if you weren't jealous.

Wait, what did you say? Stop the train! Repeat that.

You're going to be in Vegas at the same time? That's odd. Oh come on, how can your beer be colder than mine? That's downright ludicrous. Yes, I know that the women are really my guy friends that are much more apt to burp and fart rather than bring me a beer, but that counts for something, right? RIGHT? And that much fatter bankroll you're sitting on--I can see all the one dollar bills sloppily tucked under the 3 20's. I know that ruse. I invented that ruse!

Ah shit, just let me buy you a drink while we're there, and we'll call it even.
[end dream sequence]

You heard it here first--1/3 of the Minnesota Poker Blogger contingent has officially tossed his hat into the WPBT ring in a very manly manner. Part of me is excited, part of me is a little bit scared--that part being my liver--and a third, much larger part realizes that Etch-a-Sketch Effect is going to be in full effect.

Never heard of the Etch-a-Sketch Effect? Well, it's a good thing I'm here to clue you in. Otherwise you'd be, well, clueless.

When I drink, my brain is eerily similar to an Etch-a-Sketch. Etch-a-Sketch-esque, if you will. I have never in my life blacked-out due to drinking. But, there's the Etch-a-Sketch; I'm perfectly fine when I'm upright and the picture will undoubtedly stay put. But the minute you lay me down or flip me over, everything that's been accumulated so far in the night is mostly erased. I still have bits and pieces, but they don't add up to make the Mona Lisa.

I'd like to think that I just won't sleep while I'm in Vegas, but there's only so much Red Bull and coffee one central nervous system can take, not to mention the number they can do on one's gastrointestinal tract.

I think I need to hire someone to take notes for me.

Speaking of notes, I made a withdrawal of part of Doyle's Room bankroll to fund this trip, and I intend to use other winnings to beef up the bankroll a little. I know that Pauly says that $1000 is a good per day budget, but I don't think that I'll come anywhere near spending that. If I can scrounge up $1500 for the whole trip, I should be good. At least I have 3 months to do that, so it shouldn't be a problem.