Pokerama-rama! Now with more beer!

Beer, brewing and poker, with possibly some inane drivel on Tuesdays and Thursdays.

Wednesday, February 27, 2008


Question; do any of y'all have 1800 NWA miles just sitting in your glovebox or at the bottom of a hamper that you're not planning on using? That, and you'd be willing to gift them to me?

Just curious.

Tuesday, February 19, 2008

Holy crap, is he really posting two times in one week?

Yes. Yes I is.

This past week I've come down with a case of Sandy Vagina Syndrome, better known as SandyVag. You know the routine; blah blah blah, I suck at poker, why me, all-in, I lose and suck at the same time, blahhbitty blah blah balls. Long term this, that's poker that, how did that guy beat me in a hand when he wasn't even dealt cards? I don't think that's even legal.

Granted, I don't think I'm the best poker player in the world, nor do I think I'm the worst. Lately I've been feeling like the worst, though. I understand, as Felicia once said, that I don't "get it". That I don't hold that innate card sense that will allow me to rise through the poker ranks, all the way to upper echelon of $6-$12 hold 'em, or $2-$4NL. At least I can fuck like a champ, though. Without that, I'd be feeling like quite a waste of flesh. Still, I think I have the ability to win more than I lose, even with the gaping holes in my weak-tight game.

This week I decided, for the first time in a long time, to go through my PT database to see what the fuck I was doing wrong. I also printed out 51,000 hand histories to bring to the Gentile Summit in July to get some input. I expect notes, people. Schematics, too. But, until then, maybe someone can help me. I've had my eye on one column in the position stats that's more than a little disconcerting--BB won/hand. I'm good with the button--hell, even that retarded monkey that drinks his own pee can play from the button--and positions 1-6. But, from the SB and BB, there's a teensy, tiny red number (.21 in the BB, .11 in the SB) that could almost go unnoticed.

But, when you add it up, it comes to a large amount of money, relatively, that I'm just giving away. I might as hand people I play my blinds. Here you go, troglodyte, you Ypsilantian asshole, have a quarter-you raised, and I'm not going to defend. Ever. Perhaps the next hand I'll even give you my dime. Because I don't know how to play the blinds, obviously.

I'm a losing blind player, wooohooo!

There, I said. Question, though; when you, dear readers(I say like I've had any readers here in the past 8 months) look at the column in your pokertracker database, what does it say? Mine looks like such a small number, but it's probably 90x the national average for all I know. I'd rather shoot myself in the nuts with a longbow than go to 2+2 for advice, so can anyone tell me what you'd do to shore this hole in the dike?


Haha, I said hole.

Tuesday, February 12, 2008

I've been spurred on by Daddy's last "Love what you're doing over here" comment, so I figured, hey, what the hell, I'll write a little something about how I've been doing in the poker world.

Poker can eat shit and die.

Though succinct, that sums it perfectly. But, before I can get to why I think that way, let me back up a bit.

From January through April of 'O7, I played 23,000 hands, with a winrate of 3.53BB/100. Not a huge amount of money, but enough to give me something resembling a bankroll for the levels I was playing. The only level I was in the red was 1-2NL, and I wasn't even down a full buy-in. Also, this is without adding the rakeback from months of February and March, which were easily 5 times as high as they've ever been before, and probably will ever be again.

Since April of '07, I've played 10,000 hands, with a winrate of 1.17BB/100. Still in the green, but when you're counting big blinds in quarters, it doesn't add up. Well, technically it adds up to $39, total, but who's really counting? Oh, right, me.

It could be said that with the first set of hands, I was playing more, therefore getting more practice in, which should, in theory, make me a better player. In theory, sleeping with a hot young coed sounds like a good idea, until I realize that when I was in high-school, she was still wallowing in her own feces-filled diaper. Of course, some of you may be into that. I'm not judging, I'm just stating a fact. Yeah, theories can blow me.

Now I'm all depressed about getting older. Thanks, me!

Anyhow, what happened way back in February of last year, I think, was that I went on a heater and got over that hump in regards to playing over my bankroll, and wasn't worried about going "broke". I don't usually deposit a shit-ton of money and grind from there; try to start out with a small ($50-$100) deposit and hopefully be luckier than I am unlucky. There's not an awful lot of room for error there, though.

After April, though, the whole getting lucky right after a deposit hasn't been happening. I'm not losing money, but it's still very frustrating to get up to a certain dollar level and then completely shit the bed. I'm not even talking about trying to squeeze out a little fart and getting wet underwear, oh no. We're talking painful, explosive diarrhea on the ceiling. That happened this weekend. Again. Metaphorically

The funny thing, though, is that when I wasn't playing, I didn't really miss it. No, wait, what I didn't miss was how bitter I could become after losing a big(to me, at least) pot. But, after playing for the last few weeks, I realized that I did miss the way my heart would jump after get it all-in, even when way ahead, and the relief I felt after the pot was pushed my way. Fucking adrenaline, man--damned if I do. That's it; damned if I do.

From the time we all started playing poker, we've been told no emotional ties to the turn of the cards, but you know what? Complete and utter bullshit. If you don't feel anything, what's the point in playing? I still read people's blog, and I know most of you would would agree with me. You're all pissed, filled with indignation towards the guy that called with 10-Jo for half of his stack. I read it every damn day, and yet, we all still play. WHY?

Also, I read about these poker players--nay, kids, because that's what they are--shipping hundreds and thousands of dollars across the table, having million dollar months and I'd really like to know how they got there. Where'd they start? What do they have that I don't? Besides the natural skills, correct bankroll management strategy, analytical mindset, and the desire to sit on the couch and do something other than look at Redtube all day, of course.

But what else? There's got to be more to it than that, right? Of course I'm right. By the very definition of my name, I'm right.

(Thus concludes my quarterly update. See you in April!)