Pokernerd's site ganked? No, not that Gank. Ganked.

Sad.

Otis ended his foray into cleverness in my comments the other day, and since then I've seen a small spike in people coming to my site. Unintended, I'm sure, but nice of him to do so all the same. If you haven't noticed, I've been very lax in posting in this space lately. If you have noticed, your name is probably Drizz, and in that case, Hi Drizz! If anyone else is out there, I might as well humor them with a post.

The lack of posts is about to change, me thinks. No, I haven't cleaned up on the cap games at Full Tilt. In fact, I can't seem to gain traction on the site at all. It's the same problem I have at many of the bigger sites; table selection. Full Tilt, Poker Stars and Party Poker have so many tables, and it's easy to get a rotten table. That would mean that it should be just as easy to find a better table, sure, but there's a fine line between finding a good ratio of good players vs. bad, and just wasting time table hopping.

What I'm trying to say is that it's just so damn easy, for me specifically, to get lost on the bigger sites. With so many choices, there are so many more opportunities to choose poorly. Table selection is imperative, and I am terrible at it. I also find it tough to tag and chase shitbag chip spewers in the limited amount of time I've put into the game in the past few months.

I deposited $100 into Full Tilt a week ago, and right now it's sitting at $92. Treading water, but that's better than the way I'd been leaking at the 6-max tables over the past year. If anything, my history should prove that I'm not a 6-max player. Not yet. Sure, 6-max may provide more action, but a full table is akin to sitting under a palm tree, sipping a drink out of a coconut; it's almost that relaxing for me.

The only thing left for me is to find my comfort zone while playing in an ill-fitting banana hammock.

Hold it, hold it. Let that visual settle in a bit...aaaaaand there we go. Picture TronMan's mooseknuckle, and there you have it. I hope this post hits you right before lunch.

As CFO of Me, I've made the executive decision to not deposit anymore money into poker sites for a bit, outside of the $100 that I've got sitting on FT, of course. Last Friday I scoured the web(not the kind of scouring you're trying to perform on your brain right now) for deposit free bonuses, and I found a couple on Bonuswhores.com. A free $10 here, an easy $5 there; I mean, what the hell, right? I had nothing to lose.

4 days later I have exactly $560 to lose from one particular site. I've run the free $10 up $550. Not too shabby. I'm hesistant to give the site's name, pending a cashout. I'd rather not recommend a site to people I consider friends if it turns out more hassle than it's worth. Hey, I freely offer up myself as guinea pig for yous guys and girls in the name of soft games.

After playing a tiny bit of $1/$2 NL last night--the first $1/$2 I've played online in over a year--the main reasons I started playing this game reared their pretty head once again. It's that feeling you get while waiting for someone to fold your large turn bet; the thumpTHUMPthump of your chest; the adrenaline rush and dispersal of epinephrine as the pot slides your way.

Goddamn, it's almost better than sex. I know it's more satisfying than a humongous sneeze-fart.