So, what does a Player like myself do after he gets home from the Playboy Mansion with a few days to digest what's happened?

He takes his two extra days off to write about the experience, of course, pounding out as much verbal mush as possible.

Well, that's what I would be doing if Time Warner hadn't turned off our internets due to "spamming issues". Whatever. I'm not about to sit in the Dunn Bros. across the street from my house in order to write all day long, which is where I'm writing from right now.

It's at a time like that proves just how dependent I am on having a reliable internet connection. And also how much I hate Dunn Bros. coffee.

The Time Warner rep--who just happens to know nothing about internet security, by the by--said that I either have to reformat the harddrive or have a service professional clean everything up before getting our cable modem turned back on. Uh, right.

What a colossal pain in my ass.

So, until I have can get online again, this will have to do. Hey, I may even have some poker talk here from my time in Vegas, if you're lucky. In fact, I can guarantee you'll get lucky, which is more than I can say for any of my compatriots this past weekend.

Oh, SNAP!