Rambley rambley. I'm waiting for my flat tire to get fixed, so I have some time to play and simultaneously blog. Forgive me.

I've been around this game long to see a lot of people that have absolutely no clue what they're doing.

Like, just a second ago, I saw a $57 dollar raise of a $1 bet into a $3 pot. O...k? I don't get it, but I'm sure the guy that made the play does. The only justification I would accept is a button misclick. That's it. I've been known to call an all-in on the wrong table while holding A7o, when on the table that I meant to call an all-in on I was holding aces. But this didn't look like a case of fat fingers.

A year ago, the big play with aces was to limp re-raise. Lately, though, I'm continuously seeing the powerful limp-call method of playing the best starting hand in hold 'em. Forget about trying to win a big pot. Forget trying to knock people out of the hand. It's all about playing the hand as passively as possible. That's key.

I think I'm in dire need of a live poker fix, because I find myself screaming "WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU THINKING, ASSHAT?" at my screen an awful lot lately. In fact, almost every hand I'm involved in has me reacting in such a manner. At least live, I don't feel the need to berate someone that can actually hear me and give me a much needed beatdown. For someone that hates stupid people as much as I do, I sure did make bad choice of hobby.

Oh, nice. I just played a hand against a guy that limped, caught his set(of 10's), bet a dollar and took down the pot. And then showed his monster, like he'd accomplished something that we should admire him for. Other than his ability to actually remember to breathe, I'm not so sure he has all that much in this world to be proud of.

And yep, that was just a $17 open raise on a $1 big blind. Well played, sir. Don't forget the mental midgets when you finally do move up to 1/2 NL. We peons will appreciate it. That is, if we can stop drooling, because we can't do that and think at think at the same time.

I think I've got my major problem in regards to this pinned down. I'm the type of person that likes to figure things out, and on the top of that list, is people. I like to be able to dissect a person's brain--figuratively--to find out what they're thinking, and why they're thinking that way. People interest the hell out of me. And for the life of me, I can NOT figure out the subpar poker player. Trust me, it's frustrating. And granted, I am not "good", but I know that I am not "bad". It just makes no sense.

Moving right along, ahem.

I recently ran across Poker Updates, which is an online poker show. I'm only on the second episode, and overall, it's fairly good. But, I got hung up on one of the questions they posed.

"Would you give up sex for one year in trade for one big tournament win?"

Are you kidding me? Of course I would! Who's the nympho that wouldn't give up sex for a million dollars? I'd lop off my own dick for a million dollars. Hell, I'd have enough money that I'd be able to order the surgeons to reconstruct me a new penis out of the fat pad that I'm going to create from turning into jobless, millionaire glutton. One million dollars.

But I wouldn't want to win the WSOP ME, because then everybody would nitpick about my play, and call me a dickless poker player. I don't need that.

The best part--by a thousand miles--about Poker Updates, is the Pokerroom.com commercials. Let's just say that they're not suited for prudish, American television. If you haven't yet, watch 'em. You'll thank me.