Say hello to my new online persona.; the image I choose to hide behind. Nobody feared the picture of my sneering face, so it was time for a change. And thanks to Joe Speaker for the image, which he claims to be a real road sign near Somewheresville, CA. I have no clue. I was drunk when I agreed to the picture swap. I'm sure I'll get sick of it by, oh, I don't know, yesterday.

The whole Donk Revolution has almost been driven through to China, and I'm this close to being sick of hearing the word "donkey", but this picture was too good to pass up. Fitting, too. Though it would've been better suited for Joe's playing style(being a huge favorite, only to get unceremoniously outdrawn by someone not even in the hand), there always comes a time when we've been run over by a shitty play.

So, I hate the word "donkey" just as much as I do the word "fish", but there is nothing quite like being raildogged by a plethora of bloggers in a MTT, only to have the observer chat erupt in a chorus of "Eeeeee-awwww's" when I suck out on someone with my K9d. That, my friends, will never get old. No way, no how. Keep it comin', that's my motto.

So, what have I been doing these last few days? One word : tournaments galore. I've been cavorting with Pussy's younger sister.

Lots and lots of tournaments.

I've repeatedly stated that I hate rebuy tournaments because of the wack factor, but I'm really starting to understand how to go about playing them. The funny thing is that my two best finishes in large field MTT's have been rebuys. The first was way back when I first started playing on UB almost two years ago(it was dumb luck to finish second in that satellite), and the last was a week ago in the $5+R on Stars.

I realize now that I like the wackiness of them. That wack is not wack. My apologies, that was bad. Horrendous, even. Just downright ugly. Here, let me buy you a beer for having to groan your way through that.

We cool? Cool.

Anyways, I don't subscribe to the push-and-hope mentality that many rebuy players seem to pin hopes on. I play tight. Until the first break is hell in these tournaments for me. I sit there, hoping to catch someone pushing into me when I have a monster in order to accumulate chips. For the most part, that's all I have to do. After the first break, if I've double up my immediate rebuy(+add on), that sits my stack right around T12,000, which is a shitload of chips to dick around with when the blinds are only 75/150, and without any terrible beats, the 2nd break should be in sight.

[Hold on, I need to butt in hear and say something. This is Chad's anger, and I'm growing. Huge. I hate that Chad is unable to control bodily functions during these tournaments, and doesn't properly ration alcoholic beverages over the course of the tournament. You see, it's not a big deal that he has to get up and use the bathroom, or perhaps grab another beer. After all, that's better than soiling our only decent pair of pants. And it's definitely better than being thirsty or growing sober.

But, do you think it would be too much to ask PokerStars to just not deal us great cards that turn into monsters on the flop? Especially while we're away from my computer? That's just cruel. At the very least, it doesn't need to be recorded. Just deal us out of the hand so we don't have to come back to a hand history that says we folded quad 9's in a T15,000 pot. I mean, really.

Have I made myself clear? Good.]

Odd, I just "came to" at my keyboard and the last three paragraphs were on my screen. Oh, and I was drooling. Not that that's unusual, though.

Uh. Yeah. I'm to keep trying to low-limit rebuys to gauge how I fare. It's just too bad they're 6 hours from start-to-finish. That's a lot of time to invest in something to break even.

What else? Oh yeah, last night.

Last night I hopped in a $20 MTT on Stars with Drizz and Joe, with MaiGrey raildogging. It wasn't until late in the 2nd hour that anyone realized that EasyCure was among the chipleaders. He took 3rd, the jerk, but only because he won a monster pot with pocket 8's. That's the only reason.

As for me, I made the money, but just barely. In the first hour, I was dealt KK twice, with both hands netting me a large pot. The other pot I won was against a shorter stack while holding K9d. Only two of us to the flop containing two diamonds. I bet half the villian's stack so that, in case he pushed, I wouldn't have to call off much more for a showdown. I could've pushed right away, but that seems like a dumb move, and if I check and he moves all-in, it's a lot tougher to call that bet with only a BB invested in the pot. So, either I win outright with K high because he has nothing, or he comes over the top and I call a much smaller bet into a much larger pot.

I bet, he pushed, I called, seeing a well-timed Eeeee-Awww! from Joe in the chat box. Perfect, just perfect.

T5000 going into the second hour is a nice feeling, but it only lasts so long when the cards are made a feces. No, really. They were made of poo. I swear I heard monkeys off in the distance. After I made the money, I didn't play many hands. I was looking to double up--which I did once--but couldn't get anything after that. 56th place is 55th loser. Something like that.

I had more, but I just ran out of steam. Phooey.

I really need to learn about conclusions in this here blog. I've been terrible at it lately.