T-minus 30 days until the WPBT in Vegas, and like the rest of you, I'm getting antsy. I can almost taste the blinding, paisley carpet, smell the pit boss shaking his head in disgust, and hear the copious amounts of booze jumping down my throat. If I come back with anything less than full-blown bronchitis and a dash of liver failiure, I'll be severely disappointed. There are a few loose-ends that I'd like to tie up before I leave in 30 days, 19 hours, 10 minutes and 34 seconds...31 seconds....25 seconds.

Bloggers:
I've been playing this somewhat demoralizing, sometimes ego-building, parabolic fucking game for about a year and a half. I've been blogging about it close to a year, and I'm already planning on celebrating my Blog Birthday on the 18th, which is almost a week after my real-life 30th birthday. I'm all growned up. Celebrating both by bathing in a pint or three of beer, of course. Then again, I tend to celebrate each morning I wake up without wetting the bed by downing a beer, so it's not like I need a special occasion to drink.

I am an intermittent poker blogger. I tend to make one post a week, possibly two, and if I'm really drunk, I'll stretch it out to three. There's not a lot interesting in my grinding it out. Felicia dubbed me a magical pixie due to the mystery behind my ghost-like comings and going, which is dangerously close to being a called a fairy. If it weren't for the word "suckout" being a mainstay in the poker lexicon, I could handle being called a fairy. At least I'd get to prance, right? Don't answer that. For now, though, I'll stick with Pixie.

There are very few people that I've had contact with in the community outside of blogger comments, but for the last month or so, I've been Bloglining all of the attendees of the WPBT event. I may not comment that much, but I do lurk like a muh-fuh. But, I'd rather not get to the Alladin and have to repeatedly utter the question "What's your URL?". I'm shy upon initial meeting, and if I feel I should be asking that question, I guarantee that it won't be asked for fear of embarrassment. I'd be more apt to sit back and drink hideous amounts of Miller Lite than ask "What's your blog?". Hence the reason for beefin' up the blogroll, which sounds grossly similar to a porno I once watched in college. It wasn't pretty.

On the same token, I'd like people to know who I am, what makes me, well, me, and why I'm wearing an adult diaper at the table. Great, I've pretty much resigned myself to showing up in a box full of Depends, haven't I? Forget I said that. Here's what I'm asking--if you read this, if you're going to Vegas in to attend to Blogger Circus, and we haven't talked or ever commented on our respective blogs, please leave me a comment and let me know that you're stalking me. I already know that I need to start commenting more, and finally involve myself rather than waiting for others to ask for my involvement. One well-timed post about a stripper doesn't make me a charter member of the community.

South Cackalacka vs. Minnesnowta:
There was talk a few months ago about a tourney last longer bet between the South Carolina Contingent--Otis, CJ, and Bad Blood--and the Minnesota Poker Powerhouse that is Chris Dhal, Drizz, and of course, myself. Yes, I am just stupid enough to link my own blog in my own blog.

Though I feel that we midwesterners are at a definite disadvantage in this competition, I'm all for it. One month before the battle, we are Buster Douglas, pre-Tyson fight. I already know that I'm dead-money to win the whole thing, what with never having played in a live tournament before, but at least with this, I might be able to keep what little pride I have left. Who knows, all the SC boys might get sucked out on--there's that word again--on the first hand. We can hope!

Raise your hand if you're Sure!

Bankroll management:
I have my entire online bankroll resting in Texas Dolly's virtual cardroom. I busted out of Stars yesterday, which is really not as bad as it sounds, considering that I had less than $30 in my account and was just trying to win enough to enter the WPBT WSOP satellite last night. Yeah, that didn't happen. I've also cashed out on Party due to the frustration over not being able to win there. Not that I had a large bankroll there, either--right around $150. Iggy's ears are probably burning, and the voices in his head will scream "BLASPHEMY!" when he reads this, but it's so damn tough for me to play there.

I know that the games are soft, and the players are the worst, and that there are so many tools available(like Poker Tracker and Poker Tracker Guide) that I should be pulverizing the games. I wasn't, though. I was getting my ass served to me with a side of humility. So, I pulled out of the Battle of the Fish, bought myself a large, skim, no-whip mocha, cried in my pillow for a bit and vowed to return, only next time with more ammunition.

So, I've got almost 4 digits sitting on Doyle's room, and that was boosted yesterday with an almost $400 day. 3 people betting into you when you're holding the mortal nuts is a good thing. And the thing is, my bankroll would be 3 times what it is now--all by one-tabling, mind you--had I not made withdrawals for stupid things like airfare and hotel in Vegas, and an abnormally large heating and gas bill in early January. If there's one thing that my roommates and I most definitely are not, it's smart with the apartment utilities.

But now I've stabilized and started rebuilding the bankroll for Vegas. A few months ago, I made a mental note as to how much I'd need to comfortably, meaning "drunkenly without going broke", enjoy myself for the 4 days that my buddy and I are there. $1500 was the amount I came up with, and I have no doubt that I'll be able to reach that in a month, but it hardly seems enough. Pauly made a $1000/day suggestion, but, barring a major tournament score, that's impossible for me. Then again--please don't hit me--I don't plan on gambling that much besides at the poker table. I don't like roulette, have no clue how to play any of the table games, and the only machine that ever calls to me are those running video poker.

Just to give you some idea, my last few Vegas vacations were enjoyed with as little as $400 in my bank account. Unless I spend the whole trip inhaling the alcohol fumes coming from the members of the ACHE, there's no way in hell that I'll even be able to get drunk on $400! Sorry, but I'd rather taste my booze than smell it seeping from Al's yap.

How much money am I going to need so that I'm not stuck by the pool, sober and hating all of the fun-having bloggers?

What I plan on spending my bankroll on:

Limit ring games:

This is a given, right? That's the reason I'm going. I'd like to get the most out of my money, and if I'm going to be drunk, I might as well play the games that hurt me the least. I'm not going to win enough to quit my job, just enough to last the whole weekend, and possibly, oh I don't know, have some fun.

No-limit ring games:

Even though I am an online no-limit player by choice, live no-limit scares me a litle bit. That doesn't mean I wouldn't like to dabble a bit in it, though.

Tournaments:

There's the requisite Blogger Tournament that I will, liver willing, be playing in, but I'd also like to play in a few other low-limit tournaments, too. Under $100 buy-ins suit me, and my bankroll right now.

Booze:

I shouldn't even have to mention it, and it really should be first on the list. I will be over-drinking at the tables, with that being all paid for by tips, but I'm sure there will be other times that I won't be trying to ogle the cute table waitress. I have to take a break sometime, right? From the table, not the booze and the ogling. She's flirting with me because I so have a shot of going home with her, and not because I continually tip $5 on a free beer that I'd normally only pay $3 for in Minneapolis.

What I plan on NOT spending my bankroll on:

Strippers, escorts, call-girls, or Ladies of the Night:

Well, ok, maybe. But only because it will make a good story. That's the only reason, and not because I'm single, drunk and stupid.

Table games:

Like I mentioned, I've spent a lifetime leaving them in various toilet bowls, and sometimes in the Upper Deck, but I have no idea how to play the game called Craps. And Blackjack is something I'd call a pirate buddy, not a game that I've ever played before. For me, they're double -EV, and unless I'm cheering someone on, it's best I steer clear of them.

Shows, or anything resembling Cirque de Soleil

I'm not trying to get laid. 'Nuff said.

That's what I've come up with so far? Have I left anything important off?