"What are your New Year's resolutions"? she said.

I thought about this for awhile, hoping that I could get her to believe that I'd really start drinking less, but I don't want to start drinking less, and she knew that.

"I don't believe in them."

Which is the mostly the truth, sort of like being "mostly dead". I don't like making obligatory resolutions like "losing weight" or "eating healthier", because they're always so damn short-sighted when they're really long term goals. Plus, I'm 6'1" 175lbs, fully clothed, after being dipped in yogurt and topped with granola--I don't need to lose weight. And after living with a roommate for 2 years and never once seeing him eat a meal that didn't come in a paper bag with a fast food logo on it, I realize that I eat a lot better than most people.

"What do you mean you don't believe in them?" shot my way, along with a furrowed brow and a look of contempt.

It's not that I don't believe in them, really. I think that resolutions can be good, but I shouldn't need a brand spankin' new year to realize that a change is needed. Why don't people ever make Arbor Day resolutions? Won't somebody please think of the trees? At the very least, you'd think that birthday resolutions would be more popular, but they're the uncool kids in Resolution HS.

I have many areas of my life that I know I could improve upon, like spending less money at the bar-which is relatively little compared to other bloggers, this I know-but I'd most likely be setting myself for disappointment. Drunken, empty-walleted disappointment.

I've never wanted to make resolutions for fear of failure. I think that's one of the few things I fear in life--failure, which I suppose is not all that uncommon. So, yeah, I've never made resolutions. Until a few days ago, that is.

"It's...it's not that I...ah hell, you wouldn't understand."

I know that she wouldn't understand, so it's best to keep her in the dark rather than let loose the light, because she'd understand even less. It's not that I haven't made a few resolutions this year, but they're all related to poker. I couldn't tell her that! That's why I'm telling everyone here-you understand where I'm coming from. You get me.

I've been playing poker for little over a year and rather than bore you with tales of a break-even player, and tournament reports from a career bubble boy that are wildly unspectacular, I'm going to attempt to create some stories this year. I've dubbed this the Year of Chad. Similar to the Year of the Goat, only less furry, and a little milkier.

Wait, before I go on, I need to give a big ol' "FUCK YOU" to the not-so-great state of Florida and Tom Greene for ruining my name forever. I hope you both get nut cancer. Sorry for the rant, but it had to be said.

I wouldn't call myself a terrible player, but I'm definitely not been making any strides towards becoming a good player. My measly, underfunded bankroll-which had been stagnant-has more than sextupled in the past few weeks, which makes me think that I'm headed in the right direction. It sounds more impressive than it really is, what with my bankroll restarting at $50 about a month ago after cashing out for apartment expenses. Any move up is a good move, right?

I might as well get to the gettin'.

Year of Chad Poker resolutions:

Learn Limit Poker--It's a little embarrassing to say this, but I don't know much about limit poker. I normally play the $25NL tables at party, or NL SNG's but I steer clear of limit tables because it's something I never really read up on. And because of this, I'm risking a lot more money than my bankroll warrants. I've been lucky so far that I haven't completely busted, and ever luckier that I don't tilt very easily. It's about time I picked up SSH and read my ass off, and even if I don't play it very often, at least I'll know what's going on if I should ever have to. Also, I'd like to know what 3/4 of the people on 2+2 are talking about in terms of how to play certain hands, because most of it doesn't make sense. Straddling? No clue. Value bet? I understand it, but have yet to put it to practice. Soon, young Padawan, soon.

Play at Canterbury--I live 30 minutes from what is apparently one of the best cardrooms in the nation, and I have yet to go there. Why? Well, because I don't know how to play limit poker, durrrr! The last thing I want to do is go down there and embarrass myself by giving money to people that I know don't deserve it. Yes, I'm stupid like that. I know that all I need to do is take first step and stop being a pansy, but the whole process is a little daunting. I'm sure after I get the nervousness out of my system, I'll be asking myself "That's what I was worried about?", just like after sex for the first time. Which was just last week.

"Trip tournament" satellites--The one major thing I love about playing online is that there are so many opportunities--opportunities to win money--opportunities to travel to exotic places. Just so many of them. While I'm not worried about making money for the sake of making money, I'd love to be able to say "Poker paid for my vacation to[insert exotic destination here]". So, I'm going to play more some of these satellites. Aruba? I wish! Australia? Why not? Why I've yet to attempt any of the low-level buy-ins is beyond me. Even if I don't make it to a far away land, I can always tell my friends that I'm playing for a week in sunny Dublin, Ireland. They don't know any better. I might as well try these while I have relatively few things to tie me down.

Utilize PokerTracker--I have PT, I just don't use it to the extent that I need to become better. This program has every stupid statistic I'd ever want to know while I'm playing online, from my aggression level and amount won, all the way down to how many bathroom breaks I take an hour and the exact PH of my urine during any giving session. If you must know, it was slightly acidic a few nights ago, but this morning PT told me I was back to normal. Hey, I'm just relaying what PT told me. Part of becoming a better player is not only learning the game and players you're facing, but also yourself and where your biggest leaks are. I'm sure if I handed my database over to a good player, they'd be able to pick out at least 5 areas that I need to work on, the least of which is river aggression. I've had all this information in front of me the whole time, but failed to utilize it. I'm such a yutz sometimes.

Vegas, Baby. Vegas!--It's a goal to get to Vegas as least once this year to play poker. I haven't been there in three years, and the closest I came to a poker table was when I was walking by a wall of the video variety. The plan is for my brother and I to surprise my mom and dad when they go to Vegas sometime in March, sneaking off to the tables after they go to bed at 11pm. Hopefully I'll be able to make it out there again if there's another WPBT event this summer. Vegas and I, we have a dangerous attraction to one another. She sends out her beautiful Siren's song to lure me in and, well, I submit. The lights, the ugly, seizure inducing carpet, the plink-plink-plink of the coin trays, the oxygen-toting octogenarians, the air--ah, the wonderful casino air. I love it all, and I miss it. And this is another reason to learn I need to learn limit hold 'em, damn it!

So there you have it: The Year of Chad. Notice that I've purposefully left off specific goals like "bankroll quests" and winning tournaments, because I realize that I need to get better before I can set the bar that high. As for right now, I'm off to buy SSH and then straight to PT to check my urine PH, ASAP. Damn, I suddenly have a craving for TCBY. I suppose I'll just have to settle for yogurt.