I'd like to start off my return to poker, and blogging, to say this; Dog Bless Time Warner and their non-English speaking cable guy. Oh, he was American, and spoke something resembling english-some derivative perhaps- but nobody could understand a word he said. It could've had something do with enunciating like he had a mouth full of cookie dough that made him so incomprehensible, or that every word he spewed was slang that made him tough to understand. Who am I to judge, though? Oh, that's right, I'm the customer! How can this guy be hired? I can only imagine how the interview went.

Interviewer: So, do you have any cable experience?
Cable Guy Wannabe: Mumble mumble mumble....biaaatch!
Interviewer:I'll hire you on the stipulation that you never, ever talk again. Ever.
CGW: Mumble.

Ah, I digress. Let's get to some poker, shall we? We shall. I'll start out with the biggest change I noticed since my return; PokerTracker and Party in a blissful state of symbiosis. And there, I've finally filled my biology in poker reference for the next few years. It feels good.

I'd heard the rumors, I'd seen the posts on Two Plus Two, but hadn't had a chance to look into PokerTracker before my internet was shut off. I'll say that this is probably the best thing that could've been created for someone like me that, at best, has been lax in requesting hand histories. My data had more holes in it than Chris Halverson's no limit game, and that doesn't do me a bit of good. Now that I can lazily watch the data literally ooze into PokerTracker, I have no excuses for not sifting through my game, and picking key aspects to work on. By the way, the holes that are in Mr Halverson's no limit game are the ones that he thinks are there. I think he's just delusional.

Also upon my glorious return, I've also noticed that Party Poker has been ostensibly fishy. I haven't had enough time on the tables to believe that people are actually this stupid. Wait, before I continue, I have something that I need to get off my chest that's been bothering me. Something that needs to be changed. The blogger community is chock full of creative people, and good writers. Why can't we come up something better to describe a shitastic player than the moniker of "fish"? There has got to be a better word. Here's my proposal; outlawing the word "fish", and as it's replacement, we use "cupcake". Just follow along and nod like I'm making sense. The word "shark" will be replaced with "Fat lady wearing a muumuu", Mama Fats, if you will. The tables will now be highly "sugary" instead of "fishy.

Ok, my example is terrible, but you get my drift, right? I just feel that when I'm blogging about poker, I get a bit redundant, and my writing becomes vapid. And that one, 5 letter word is so overused that it's become trite and meaningless.

"Hello, hi, and welcome to the Department of Redundancy Department. I'm Chad, and I'll be your tour guide to guide you through this tour. By the way, my name is Chad.